The Last Word

Wealth management has all types of personalities. There’s the stoic veteran, the evidence-based nerd, the finance bro, the reformed salesperson, and the “let’s talk about your feelings first” life coach/advisor. But no personality deserves as much scrutiny as the Last Worder.

(You’re welcome, finance bros. You guys get beaten up enough, so I’ll leave you alone in this post).

Last Worders, as the name suggests, always have to get the last word. Did you just share an insightful story with your peers? Or talk about your new puppy? Well, the Last Worder has a better story: his puppies have puppies.

Last Worders have to be right all the time. Even when they’re wrong. You might say, “The sky is always blue in the daytime.” And they’ll reply with, “Well what about when it’s cloudy and you can’t see the sky?” You have to be wrong so they can be right.

And if a Last Worder gets into an argument with another Last Worder in front of you, get another drink (or two). Because you’re going to want a foggy brain when you hear them argue about everything and nothing all at once.

Last Worders must love that prediction markets (i.e., gambling dens) are about to go live in Canada via Wealthsimple Predict. Here’s the tagline from Wealthsimple:

Have a take on the housing market? The weather? Our prediction markets trading app is made for you.

Last Worders are going to get paid when they’re right. And it’s a binary yes/no. “Remember when you said this summer was going to be drier than usual? Remember? Well, I placed a bet on it, and it rained all of July. I win. You’re a loser. And I made a few grand.”

They’re going to let us know what losers we are every time they make a correct prediction. Bet on it.